This blog post was written on 4/9/2020

I may of mentioned it in a previous blog, I am not sure. But this summer I took the kids to St. Ives for a few days for a holiday. With me working Saturdays and Charlie now going to his dad’s on the weekends, I decided that we would go Monday-Friday. I booked it in July I think, with the aim of having a nice relaxing week in the countryside, so we all could get a break.

Monday

The travel down. Very surprised, good no moaning children, the dogs slept (yes, I took the 2 dogs with us). We stopped once for food and to let the dogs have a run around, they were very good. Everyone was very good. 6.5hours travelling so was pretty exhausted by the time we got there. And then we had to go food shopping! Pretty much wiped out the first day. Which was quite frustrating, will definitely not to that again.

Tuesday

Bad weather, raining, moody overtired children. Went to St Ives, nothing could of prepared me for how busy and confusing it was. Couldn’t find a beach that was dog friendly. Walked around for ages, everyone hot and sweaty! Because, although it was raining on the campsite, it was sunny down by the beach! Awful. Then the mother of all meltdowns, and a child running off….. guess who? Terrible experience. Losing a child in St. Ives, not being able to keep him safe, 2 dogs, and then 2 other tired children all complaining about the child having a meltdown as if he was a spoilt kid!! We were unprepared for the beach, so then when Charlie ran into the water and soaked himself, he ended up very cold, wet, no clean , dry clothes which obviously contributed to the meltdown. And the realisation that he didn’t have the concept or comprehension to understand that if he went in the water now he would of had to walk back to the car wet!!!! And that’s where autism wins. Because my child lacks awareness of how the world works, consequences and the alternatives when things go wrong.

So 3 children, 2 dogs, 1 parent… not a happy time. I can’t really remember what we did for the rest of Tuesday, it’s a blur. But there was a woodland walk, that we went in, with a secluded park and that was definitely a highlight. To have a woodland park to ourselves.

Wednesday

To book swimming in the pool, you have to go in the morning and reserve your spot at 9.30am for the day. So I went, 8.50am to stand in line and wait for a spot. The only spot we could get was 4pm. Crazy, that I waited all that time just to get 4pm. Determined it wasn’t going to ruin the only “sunny” day there was, I got the kids up and ready. And headed to a nearby beach. What a mission, because it had to be dog friendly. Well it was a mission, but we got there, down to the beach. Only to discover my middle child hadn’t packed any swimming stuff AT ALL!!!! because I had made a remark saying “it’s going to rain all week” so she came without anything. So, I happy 2 happy children, playing in the sea and the sand and making sandcastles, and 1 angry child, who doesn’t want to be part of our family. Great!! Can’t make everyone happy! So, we cut the beach short after a couple of hours, and disappear to go find a swimming costume so at least she can go to the pool later. She hates the pool later. Spends less than 15 mins in there. Swimming is terrible, I only put 3 names down as I thought my daughter wasn’t swimming, therefore, only 3 of us could go in. That meant while my other 2 children was getting out because they felt the pool was too small and wasn’t enjoying it. I couldn’t get in and keep Charlie company. It was only 1 hour sessions anyway, and they ended up cutting it off after 45 mins because there wasn’t enough water in the pool. Disaster.

Decided to get dressed, go for food, luckily the restaurant onsite was taking part in the “eat out to help out” scheme, so we ate pretty cheaply to be fair. And then at around 8pm, I decided we would drive back down to the beach so the boys could have a little play. My daughter decided that she didn’t want to come, so I only took the boys. The beach was nice then, quiet, calm, lots of people still enjoying it. But made me realise the importance of being there on quieter days.

Thursday

This literally was the day from absolute hell!! So, with the disappointment of the onsite swimming pool, I had decided to book us all in at a local outside pool. Amazing, an outdoor swimming pool, a real big, Olympic sized one. The kids were excited. And then we woke up, and it poured down, poured and poured. There was no way we were going out in this!!! I couldn’t drive down the country lanes in it, let alone swim. And that’s when the first meltdown came. Because there was a change of plan and Charlie couldn’t quite understand why it had changed and why he was not going swimming. This must of lasted around 3 hours, and the last half hour or so, one of my other children had got so agitated by the meltdown that they started to display challenging behaviour. There was a lot of swearing, aggressive behaviour between them. And nothing seemed to calm the other down. And I just wanted to go home. This was hell, trying to be referee between two warring siblings is hard enough at the best of times, but trying to do it amidst meltdown mode, isolated in a holiday park, alone, with 3 children and 2 dogs was scary. I was not feeling safe at all.

When I finally told everyone, the plan was to pack up and go home early, we couldn’t do anything because of the weather and the behaviour. Like a miracle, it stopped raining and the sun just came out! It was a miracle, so then I told everyone to get ready because we were 100% getting out of this holiday home. Being cooped up together is just not healthy (how we all survived lockdown) I will never know.

Land’s End

I decided that we should go to Land’s End, somewhere I have absolutely always wanted to go, lots of open space, and I hoped it would occupy the children enough to calm them down. Well, that didn’t entirely work. Unfortunately, after an hour, we had threats of jumping of the cliffs. And everyone was full of anxiety, stepping on egg shells not wanting to break the calm. So after maybe 1.5hours we headed back to the car. And back to the holiday park for some dinner.

It must of been around 4.30pm by this time. I had decided to buy wash tokens, get our holiday washing done and get packing. And then by 6pm, I started packing up the car, told the kids that we were going that night instead of tomorrow morning. I just wanted out if I’m honest, our own beds and the comfort of our own home. We drove through the night, arriving home just before midnight. And Charlie slept until after Birmingham, until we were an hour from home. In hindsight, we will definitely do that again. We did bring things like the PlayStation, Charlie’s fleecy blanket and obviously the dogs but it wasn’t enough. And it got me really thinking.

I can’t go on holiday with all three of them again, it’s too stressful and it causes too much conflict. And ideally, we need a holiday home base. We need somewhere that is the same, every year, so it’s familiar. So we can go down to relax and really relax because of somewhere that is Charlie focused. And I think that will need to be a long term goal for me.

This is so long! Probably the longest blog post I’ve ever written.

Stay safe

Georgina x