Online bullying and harassment.

I felt as though I needed to write about this as it is still quite present and unfortunately active in our lives. I started writing it on December 14th and have to keep coming back to it as it triggers me so much. Charlie plays online a lot, I have to supervise every second, the minute I don’t it is the potential for someone to take advantage of Charlie and that is simply a road I don’t want to go down. It’s challenging enough to raise children without the fear that your child would be targeted by an online bully. It honestly is the worst fear a parent can have. Unfortunately for a SEN child the risks are even higher, because of speech and language barriers and the risks of communication misinterpretation it is an even bigger worry for our children.

Children can say some hurtful and harmful words that stick with a child, long after the word has been said and the child has moved on from the argument. For children, it damages their self worth, esteem and confidence and sometimes the damage is irreparable. But what about when adults do it? That is even more dehumanising, an adult one in their thirties say should not be posting on social media derogatory personal insults about an individual, I think it says more about them as a person than what it does about the person they are insulted.

It is a coward’s way of arguing, a simple keyboard warrior and we can give children that benefit of doubt but anyone over the age of 25 that behaves like this is a bully plain and simple. A cyber bully, as described in the Cambridge Dictionary is:

someone who uses the internet to harm or frighten another person

Using the internet to intentional harm someone’s feelings is beyond reproach in my opinion and it is even worse when it is aimed at a vulnerable child or adult. Let’s not forget that our children will someday become vulnerable adults and it may not be possible to provide support to them 24/7. I have shockingly witnessed grown women abusing others over the internet, giving insults, commenting on dress sense and hair styles and being offensive over a person’s mental illness and disability. When I see men and women in their 30s that behave like this, and have teenage children I pity them. I pity them and hope that their own children never suffer from the wrath of someone like their own parents. I wonder if they stop and think about the person they are bullying online and how they would feel if someone was being offensive and insulting about their child’s dress sense, hairstyle or disability.

Unfortunately bullying someone online isn’t illegal, It really should be because the damage it does is horrific and affects families, not just individuals. However harassment is. Harassment, discrimination or victimisation is legally covered by the Equality Act 2010. It is illegal to discriminate or victimise a person based on their disability. I have popped a link below.

Equality Act 2010: guidance - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

Of course, children with SEN, ASD and additional needs don’t always know they are being bullied, harassed or discriminated against. The often lack the mental capacity, self awareness, social cues and communication skills that are needed to respond to bullies and keep themselves safe online. This has been a growing concern for parents and carers especially for those that have SEN children. Young Minds, a national charity did some extensive research packed with information about the impact of cyberbullying on children. The link is below

pcr144b_social_media_cyberbullying_inquiry_full_report.pdf (youngminds.org.uk)

As you can see, I feel very passionate about cyber bullying and I want to raise as much awareness as I can, because the affects are truly damaging and we all must do our part to keep vulnerable children safe. There are some resources here to help with identifying bullying and free online training, please look, read and share.

Bullying worksheets for kids; gradeschool anit bullying worksheets (keepyourchildsafe.org)

Classifying Bullying Lessons, Worksheets and Activities (teacherplanet.com)

Free cyberbullying resources for teachers - Childnet

Free Workplace Violence and Harassment Training Power Point - Eversafe Training Inc.

Free CPD online training | Anti-Bullying Alliance (anti-bullyingalliance.org.uk)

I know I could write all night about this subject. But as it goes, Charlie is sat next to me wanting to go on TikTok (one of the worst) and I won’t even entertain that idea without supervising him.

I’m sorry it took so long to get out.

Georgina x

Scheduling advocating doesn't work but we have the best news!

Last week, I came up with a plan that on Monday I would try and catch up with life admin and on a Friday I would try my best to advocate for Charlie and chase things that he needs. This did not work! Although I did leave a message last Friday to the SEND officer in regards to our respite hours. So I did get a little advocacy done.

It became clear on Sunday, that my plan wouldn’t work. I had agreed on Friday to complete my hours for my job at home on Monday, I had also agreed with school to send Charlie in at 2pm. On a Monday my eldest son is at home all day as he is doing remote learning for college, so I use that time on a Monday to go food shopping (it is painful for Charlie to come with me, I will do a sensory processing post at some point) get petrol, do a post office run and any other life admin jobs I might have that means leaving the house. I suddenly realised that I had stretched myself too thin and it was impossible to organise all this and survive the day. Unfortunately school gave, I had thought it might, as it’s so hard to transition Charlie back into school when he has been out for an extended period of time.

I had completely forgotten about the email to the SEND officer, and today missed a call off a number but had an answer machine message. Unfortunately I was unable to answer it but I rang back and it was the short breaks manager. Short breaks is the respite service our Local Authority use, this was decided after a social care assessment that concluded that I needed support with Charlie. I will pop some links below.

Finding respite care | Disability charity Scope UK

Your needs as a carer | Contact

The manager was lovely and agreed that they couldn’t meet the needs of Charlie, he was on a waiting list but it could be several months before he was allocated time in their service (I know it’s more likely to be years) so I could apply for direct payments and employ a carer for Charlie using my hours. Again I’ve popped a link on.

Direct Payments - Carers UK

This isn’t what I wanted, I wanted Charlie to have access to support services in the community which would give him a chance to socialise with his peers. But understandably, we are over stretched and underfunded. So when I explained that Charlie was only accessing 2-3 hours of school a week, it had been like that since September, and when I did take him I sat in the carpark she doubled the hours. That’s right, you read right!! She doubled the hours there an then!! After being extremely apologetic that I have lost out so far, acknowledging that I have accrued 11 hours and I have no way of receiving that, the next financial year I can have extra. Clearly, the hope is by the following year Charlie will be full time in school (I hope, I can only pray - he hasn’t done full time since he was 5) and then he can go back to his original hours with the plan of hopefully gaining some hours in a community based activity centre. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves it’s a long way off!!

For now, I am going to enjoy the prospect of 11 hours in the February half term holidays and at least then I can spend some much needed time with my other children.

Georgina x

County lines and vulnerable children.

I have just completed an online awareness webinar on county lines. For those of you that don’t know, county lines is the gang related drug trafficking from big urban cities to smaller cities and towns in the countryside. It has gained popularity in recent years due to the increasing number of children they are exploiting. This is called child criminal exploitation and attacks the most vulnerable in our society.

The links are below.

Are You Listening? | Leicestershire Police (leics.police.uk)

County Lines - National Crime Agency

County Lines & Child Exploitation | The Children's Society

I am due to start training next week as a mentor for children that are at risk of CCE (child criminal exploitation) and although it is in my professional capacity, I am also worried about children like Charlie that are so vulnerable and are easily manipulated by situations like these. This is why I am sharing this post and awareness with you.

Children that are disabled and have any form of disability or SEN are more likely to be vulnerable. They are more likely to end up in criminal activity and they are more likely to be excluded from school. This was a valid concern of mine when Charlie was in the PRU. The results from research on excluded children and the risk of criminality are heartbreaking. I have included a link.

Excluded, exploited, forgotten: Childhood criminal exploitation and school exclusions | Just For Kids Law

Sharing with you this information, hopefully we can all become a little bit more aware of the dangers that lurk for our vulnerable children. Hopefully as I develop in my new role, I will be able to share with you more training tools and together we can stamp out predators and protect our children a little more.

I have started another blog on the dangers of cyber bullying and the vulnerability of our children online. I hope this blog is useful, bit out of the ream of what I normally post but felt it was too important a message to pass on.

Georgina x

Dating when you have an additional needs child.

Following on from my previous blog around the joys of solo parenting, it feels right that I should add in this lovely blog about dating when you have a child with additional needs. Or a child that needs parenting in a different style than traditional parenting.

Charlie’s father and I separated when Charlie was just 7 weeks old, it was a terrible time and of course I had no idea at that point that Charlie would have any of the struggles and difficulties in his life that he would have. It was December 2011 when we separated and I did not date again until 2014. It was a personal choice, as I was raising 3 children, working full time, running a home and doing an Open University degree, dating wasn’t on my mind at all. Between 2014-2017 I went on many many dates, some just first dates, some 2nd and 3rd dates but no-one that really made me believe that there was a future with them and for my children.

In 2017 I met someone who I honestly really believed would be a permanent fixture in our lives. I thought that there was a future with him so I introduced him to the children. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be and we split up 7 months later. The problem with this is that Charlie has an attachment disorder that means anyone that he bonds with and forms an attachment with, if they leave him it can leave him so emotionally insecure and fragile. The breaking of attachment bonding gives Charlie low self esteem and confidence. There is a link here on attachment disorder:

Attachment disorder | The Good Schools Guide

Charlie’s attachment disorder is a direct result from me and his dad splitting up and being separated from his father in the early years of his life. It is absolutely crucial for Charlie that I limit any types of attachment so that if he does break that attachment bond, I can limit the trauma from it. I have to be very selective as to who I let into Charlie’s life and try and make sure there is no further damage to him. And because of that, I have been very selective to who I date and and who I introduce the children to. Thankfully up until now it has only been one person but unfortunately that relationship wasn’t successful although because of my ability to tune into Charlie’s needs I was able to avoid any further trauma. After 2017 I decided not to date for some time and in 2018 I started my postgraduate degree. There was a date here and there but not on the levels I had experienced earlier on in my 30’s.

Unfortunately choosing someone to date and build a relationship is so much harder when you have a child with additional needs. Not only have you got to navigate dating with children, co-parenting issues that may threaten new relationships but there is the added issues that the person you are dating will not understand your child’s mannerisms, quirks, demands, lack of social cues, challenging behaviour or communication needs.

In the past here are the lovely comments I have had off men I have dated:

• Why is he that naughty?

• Why don’t you tell him off?

• I can’t believe you allow that

• Can’t you smack him (never saw that guy again)

• Can’t he live with his dad?

• I resent the fact I can’t spend any time with you

• Why do you care so much?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I have had a fair few conversations on dates where I have the response on a man’s face that I just know it won’t go passed the first date because he would never understand our life and my parenting style and most importantly Charlie.

However, the universe listened and has sent me the most incredible man into our lives to help rebuild our lives and look forward to the future. I’m very happy to have had the experiences that I have, good or bad because it is what has made me into the strong woman I am today and reinforced my confidence and trust in raising Charlie and his siblings and knowing that I always put them first.

Here’s to the future.

Georgina x

Back to solo parenting we go

Well the co-parenting lasted several months, but if I’m honest Charlie’s father has only seen him once since Halloween so for a fair few months I have been solo parenting again. That, with the news that this lockdown means Charlie’s father has decided that he does not want contact with Charlie until we are out of it! Please do not message me regarding the rules for separated parents, Charlie’s father has refused to acknowledge them and thinks it’s in his (not Charlie’s) best interests that he doesn’t contact him. To be honest the contact is sketchy at best and there is no other contact methods in between. No calls, facetimes or texts other than the weekend contact arrangements as Charlie’s father has him on a Saturday while I work.

I am a critical key worker, and I work in a contact centre with vulnerable children who are in foster placements having contacts with their biological families. I love my job, I love supporting a charity that put children first and provide a much needed space for children to have positive engaging contact and ensure they have secure attachments associated with their birth families. I will be devastated to give up this job if the childcare arrangements fall through.

I am very fortunate that right now I am able to continue working from home, and that gives me great pleasure as it means my job is secure. However, I have just applied for another role within the charity working as a mentor to support children at risk of child criminal exploitation. I’m absolutely thrilled with this and can’t wait to get trained up and started, after years of studying criminology and social politics it is definitely something that I feel I can use my skills for.

Solo parenting isn’t only about lack of contact, it’s all the other stuff too. All the meetings, assessments, reviews that I have to attend alone. All the medical appointments, dental, hospital and therapy appointments I have to attend alone. All the bedtime routines and personal care I have to do, alone. Which is fine, Charlie is my child and I love him to death and I will 1000% always advocate and care for him - but damn I would love a bit of support and help at times! It’s only right when there is a 2nd parent, there is no need to be a solo parent.

That’s enough of this heavy business for now.

Georgina x

Home schooling and advocating

We have done zero seconds of home schooling and I am not at all ashamed of that, I carry no guilt. Charlie’s school journey, is so incredibly fragile that one more crack and it might shatter it completely. For those that are new to us and haven’t read the beginning blog, Charlie was permanently excluded from mainstream primary at 5. This was his 2nd mainstream school after I removed him from his first. After, Charlie went to a Pupil Referral Unit while we worked on an EHCP. He then went to a 3rd primary mainstream school, on an EHCP whereby he was permanently excluded once again by 7. Charlie bounced back in the PRU which coincidently broke down as a placement a few months later. The LA named a SEN school 35 miles away, that was inappropriate not only for the travelling and his high anxiety but there are no onsite therapies and a timeline for progress, Charlie would be in the nurture group and if he was unable to access the main school after 12 months I would have to change the placement!! The placement was only up to 14 also.

So I took the LA to tribunal and won! I won an independent specialist provision 5 miles away with onsite therapy , which Charlie can attend until he is 19. Also, there is no pressure to move out of the nurture unit he can stay there, especially in Primary until he is ready for secondary. Academically he is working at aged 5/6 however, cognitively he is 9 years old. This makes it very difficult to teach Charlie I am sure he still has some major barriers to learning. My choice of school was always best for Charlie, I am the expert in Charlie.

Safety, obviously a huge point given the pandemic, and I honestly wouldn’t be sending Charlie if I felt there was a risk to him or the staff. He will be in a building with multiple rooms and he will be able to distance himself in a room with his 1:1 and it is very unlikely that others will join him. He is going into a new unit, where there are only 2 other students. So there will be 6 people (staff and students) to 10-12 rooms. I’ve not been in the new unit yet, so unsure exactly how it will look, but it will have a sensory room which is fantastic for Charlie.

Unfortunately there is no horse riding, which is going to really affect Charlie as it was such a positive effect on him. And we are in Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for 1 hour to begin with, I’ll be in the car park if anyone needs me.

Today I have contacted the LA once again to ask about respite, it has been 3 months since our final EHCP was issued and although we were awarded 50 hours annually respite care unfortunately this has never materialised. It is such a small number of hours for Charlie’s needs but over 3 months that has actually equated to 12/13 hours which put together would of been a substantial welcomed respite break for me. I obviously will have advocate for both extra hours and some hours in the first place.

I have decided as much as I can to do admin on a Monday and advocacy work on a Friday, unfortunately all too often the work that goes into caring and advocating for Charlie is so overwhelming, pretty soon if I am not organised it becomes too much and vital emails and assessments are missed. Classic case of carers burnout, which was what the assessment for respite was!!!

Still no news on SPOA and a referral for anxiety meds, this was also on my advocacy list.

I will eagerly await the return of school, and all the transition traumas that come with it.

Georgina x

Back to school 2021

THIS POST CONTAINS MY STRONG VIEWS AROUND CORONAVIRUS, THESE ARE MY OWN VIEWS, AND OF THE GOVERNMENT AND THE CHOICES AROUND EDUCATION.

This week should of been the week that children go back to the classroom. However, in true British style, there is another covid-19 national lockdown. This infuriates me for a number of reasons. Including, and not limited to:

• We are not teachers, let alone SEN teachers

• We are not therapists.

• We can’t possibly do the work of the therapists that are trained to do what they do. Therapists are too highly trained

• School staff were undoubtedly an afterthought when the powers that be decided on things like going back to the classroom, testing and PPE.

• School staff deserve to work in safety like other industries.

• They are key workers.

• They take care of critical key worker’s children. This means they are critical key workers too.

• Schools and education are our children’s future

• Even elective home educators are being let down in this pandemic.

As you can see I’m quite vocal on it. And despite my joy that Charlie can go back, I know that it is an incredibly difficult time for many, with unfortunately a lot of judgement from communities that believe in what they think is right.

It also infuriates me as I truly believe that in this country, we have lacked positive stable leadership that has lead to a number of mistakes and poor decisions and this has made the situation so much worse. As I spoke about on the Christmas blog, I had a friend stay with me over Christmas my friend was from Ukraine an Eastern European country. The situation there is very different!!

• Their capital city city Kyiv is 323 square miles with a population of 3million people.

• The whole of the Ukraine is 233,100 square miles and a population of 44,390 million.

• London has a population of almost 9million and is 607 square miles.

• England has a population of 58 million and is 51,328 square miles.

• The rate of deaths in Ukraine as a whole is 19,357 as of 6th January.

• The rate of deaths in England is 66,626 as of 6th January.

As you can see there is a vast difference in the way the cities and countries have been handling the virus and the effect that it has has on the countries. This both shocks me and infuriates me. My friend had to self isolate when she got here, and was only able to travel locally for walks/outdoor activities. We saw one other person, outside. Once her self isolation was up, she did get a chance to explore a bit further however, we didn’t go far and we didn’t have long to explore, again we only visited places outside. After she flew home she is now self isolating in Ukraine for a further 2 weeks.

And this is why I am so upset at the government’s handling of this pandemic, Ukraine is 4 times the size of England and there is just 14 million people difference. The sheer size of the population of London, why did they ever go into tier 2!!! What happened there? It is a huge densely populated area, tier 2 was the wrong decision.

And now, we are all suffering, spikes in cases and deaths from the virus means that we are all back in a national lockdown and we are even more frightened of the deadly killer virus than we ever have been. There is a new strain and this is exclusive to England, why? Because we didn’t take more strict draconian measures when we should and the failings from the government in leadership skills and not following covid secure measures and models from international countries (New Zealand) has meant we really are in a pickle.

So back to school!! We have been given the go ahead to go back. This will always be done with the safety of the staff members. Luckily, Charlie’s school means that he will have an exclusive 1:1 and exclusive classroom just for his use. if you have been following me for some time, you will know Charlie only accesses education for 1 hour twice a week with 1 hour horse riding. However, horse riding will not be available to him during this lockdown. So although, it might seem like a massive achievement to get him into school, actually it only equates to 2 hours 3 maximum.

Extra measures have been put in, and the school staff will be tested every Monday morning. A positive test would mean the whole school closes and a deep clean will take place.

I for one am looking forward to my 2 hours of respite and making sure Charlie’s barrier to learning is not damaged any more.

We all have our own way of dealing with this awful virus please don’t bash each other about it (feel free to bash the government though).

Love G XX

Christmas 2020

Apologies for the late blog on our Christmas. Where do I start? As normal, for us, probably for many of you too - Christmas is as calm and quiet as I can get it. I go out of my way to slip into the background and make it as calm as I possibly can. Being a single parent means Christmas is twice as difficult, what is a job for 2 people, I take care of myself. The presents that the children have are my responsibility, and without me putting thought and effort into each individual child’s presents, they would have a miserable empty day! And I’m not doing that to my children.

So Christmas is low key. Some great tips that I have found include:

• Minimising decorations

• Tree up for minimum days

• Make Christmas last as short as possible

• Attend SEN/ASD friendly festive activities

• Allow time to open presents, maybe boxing day or Christmas Eve

• Remember overwhelm leads to sensory meltdowns

• Listen to your child

This Christmas I had help, it was the first Christmas in 8 years that I had a friend here to stay for the whole 2 week period. It did mean we had to self isolate and couldn’t mix with any other households (unless outside) but the lift of feeling less isolated and supported through Christmas was really amazing and really worth saving my mental health for.

As for Christmas festive activities, Santa came to visit and we watched lots of movies! Played board games, card games, ate a humongous roast beef dinner and had lots of 24 hour challenges. That really was a thing!! The late nights eventually caught up with us, and thankfully we started to turn it around ready for this week.

Christmas has been lovely, not the normal dreaded stressed out experience I’m used to. Fun fact: I used to be sick every year! My body just couldn’t cope with the pressures of Christmas, and I would either have sickness and the shits! Or I would be so fatigued I couldn’t manage the days after, or I would have the flu, or another respiratory condition (I had asthma as a child). Having someone else to help carry the load is just so precious.

Hope you all had a lovely Christmas.

Gina x

Don't mess with a SEN mama.

I’ve always been against medicating Charlie, it was a personal decision and I thought it best, given some family history that prescription drugs was off the table. It’s a decision that I had stuck to until a few weeks ago. I have done every parenting course, attended every appointment, worked hard at fighting the right provision, engaged in all the therapies, promoted all the therapies and where are we? Still nowhere after all these years. Charlie still hasn’t progressed and other than speech development and language development I feel as though we are still where we were 5 years ago. Anxiety rules his life, and undermines everything I do. Maybe, medication will make a difference.

Here I was believing that I could just go to the GP and that would be it. Turns out, that was not it! A few weeks ago I made an appointment with a GP, she called me back as it was in the midst of lockdown 2.0, and the surgery was only doing telephone consultations. This is a blessing as Charlie does not cope well with any medical appointment at all. Said she would have to look into the case, and get back to me .

I waited a week until the 19th November, and rang the GP surgery back, went through the whole process once again explaining our difficulties and how I feel medication will benefit Charlie. The Doctor wanted to send me on a parenting course and point me in the direction of an autism website. Firstly, the course was the course with Action For Children that I completed in October, that stated they were a short term intervention and couldn’t help Charlie as he has more complex needs to what they can offer and needs long term support - I know!!! This is what I’m saying. And the website, was for ABA - Applied Behaviour Analysis, if you haven’t come across this before, it is a “treatment” from America. They use it a lot over there and believe it is successful. We completed a 10 week course - it didn’t work. Surprise, surprise.

Life then got a little busy, and we struggle on. I don’t hear anything at all from anywhere. Then last week around the 3rd December (it had been 14 days) I contacted the community paediatrician’s secretary to chase up. She emailed me back (lovely woman, always willing to support) saying that yes the GP had sent a referral off it has gone to SPOA, single point of access - where referrals for children go to, it has been accepted and a consultant will contact us shortly.

In the meantime I have been on Facebook and tried to figure out what this means and how long the waiting list is, how long are we looking to wait for this consultant? A bit of background, we last had referrals go to SPOA in 2017, back then after around 6 weeks it came back as school nurse could meet need - the issue was behaviour in and out of school, school exclusions (had no idea on any diagnosis, SEN, neurological pathway at this point) and school refusal, how on earth was the school nurse going to help?! I begged for another referral and the school raised an Early Help Assessment and we got a family support worker. This family support worker was trained in autism and immediately put us on the ASD pathway referral and SPOA accepted it. We then had to wait 12 months for our first appointment!! In that time, you can guess - Charlie was permanently excluded from Reception at the age of 5!!!

So….. when I hear the words “SPOA referral” I don’t leap for joy, I’m not relieved I know that there is probably a lengthy waiting list. So, after getting the information back from the community paeds, I ring back the Dr’s surgery again, this is Friday, the care coordinator informs me that once a referral goes off to SPOA then that’s it, they don’t get anymore updates. If it’s rejected or accepted I will get a letter and a copy would be sent to them. I will just have to wait - it’s been weeks. And to make matters worse I have been informed that the community paeds can not prescribe anxiety meds, the school even though they have a clinical psychologist can not prescribe anxiety meds and the GP can not prescribe, this leaves only one service that can - the Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service, or better known as CAMHS.

Roll on today and I get a text message asking to ring the GP surgery and speak to a DR. Ok, I ring, the Dr will ring me back, Charlie is horse riding today - I am hoping and praying that I don’t get that phone call while he’s on a horse. I get the phone call - the Dr, the same one I spoke to on the phone on the 12th November confirms to me everything I have already found out myself. Tells me nothing new, and here I am hoping that it was good news! So I ask her

“when did I first make the appointment” and she answers “12th November” so, a little shy of a month ago? yes, she replies. So I say : It’s not good enough though is it? “why not? we’ve sent the referral, like you’ve asked, it’s not been a month yet” … well actually I say “I raised these concerns with a paediatrician, back in April, but we were still signed off and had to wait 6 months to go on a parenting course, that didn’t work, so it’s been longer than a month” her reply “if you are not satisfied with the service you have received, you have to go back to the service, and make a complaint with them, not us. We have done as you have asked” me: “but how could I of known? how could I of possibly known that after discharge we would have to wait 6 months for any intervention, that intervention wouldn’t be right, that intervention wasn’t long enough? How would I of known?” her response: “ if you weren’t happy to be discharged then you should of requested not to be discharged, because we can’t go back to April and change it, now you are back on the referral list for SPOA” helpful! Real bloody helpful. I am not a medical expert and I could not of foreseen that we would end back in this situation 8 months later. So I replied with “But they should of known, and it shouldn’t of taken this long to get support, we have no support, no one is supporting us, I don’t think I have another 12 months in me to wait again for a referral” once again I was met by “make a complaint to the service”.

I find this shocking real shocking. That the possibility is we could very well have to wait another 12 months for another referral and somehow that is my fault? That I should of insisted not to be discharged, because of course I am a medical expert aren’t I.

Obviously the good Dr must of realised the error that this is not down to me, this is not my fault so I received the following text message “Further to our conversation, I will be writing to SPOA to expedite the referral, I trust this meets your approval” Well, no not really, back in April someone telling me we would have to wait 6 months for an intervention that wasn’t going to work and not to discharge would of been far better!!! And no mention of CAMHS so I can imagine I will flip if after all this we are referred to a service that can’t prescribe. But of course, I have found the email address for SPOA (they aren’t taking calls or voicemails) and I have already contacted them. Not quite sure if I want to lodge a complaint against the surgery yet. It is a battle I could do without.

Will update with more news when I can.

Georgina x

Tips for a SEN Christmas

Summary

• It’s 1 day - stick to your everyday routines

• Don’t overwhelm - spread out opening presents

• Follow your child’s lead - don’t expect too much for them.

• Be prepared - use everything you can to organise

• Think sensory

Christmas is a terrible time of year for some little ones. When the world is busy, they don’t want to be! Here’s some tips for a positive Christmas

1) Keep calm its only Christmas - Having a calm settled experience over Christmas will benefit everyone in the family. It is only one day, is it really worth backtracking all that positive good work you have done developing routines and building confidence in your child to knock it back and set them back.

2) Think sensory - If there is more anxiety and the possibility of challenging behaviour and meltdowns then think sensory. There are new smells, brighter lights, busier places over the Christmas period. Think of the sensory impact on your child, try and figure out what may be causing sensory overload and remove it.

3) The overwhelm - Is it too overwhelming, everything is different, busy, there is more of everything at Christmas. It has been built up to be commercialised, bigger and better every year. But is bigger and better best for your family? Say no to extra family visits and shopping trips if it will overwhelm.

4) Less is more - For the last few years now I have realised that Christmas presents are rarely all opened on Christmas day, so why not space out the presents. If it’s going to be too much for your little one, then let them open a few on boxing day. Or New Year’s Day perhaps? Don’t overwhelm. I also go off a present list, once it’s done and ticked off that’s it, no more. Helps keep me in budget and stops the present pile being overwhelming.

5) Don’t wrap presents - We have stopped wrapping presents. The overwhelm, mess and anxiety was too much and at times ruined a perfectly good Christmas day. So one of the best ways to remove the anxiety is to no longer wrap our Christmas presents. We have these huge Santa sacks that I just put the children’s presents in. None of them mind, and it takes a huge weight off my shoulders not having to wrap everything.

6) Have a Christmas drawer - I have 2 at the moment and will probably have 3 from this week. Drawer one is in my bed, I have a divan bed and I clear out one of the drawers to stash the children’s presents in it. As I put more presents in, it reminds me how much I have bought them already. The next drawer is a drawer in the freezer, this is my Christmas dinner drawer, I start adding to this whenever I come across anything we will eat on Christmas day, I got pigs in blankets this week! Obviously not everything for Christmas dinner will go in there, but the freezer stuff can! The final drawer is the treat drawer, from now until Christmas I will pick up extra treats and pop them in the drawer so by Christmas we will have lots of goodies.

7) Christmas Dinner doesn’t have to be on Christmas Day - Probably one of the worst parts of being a single parent at Christmas is the burden you carry to do everything. I am on my own with no family to go to on Christmas Day, which means I have to balance, opening presents with cooking the dinner, building all the toys, playing with the children, all the cleaning and all the washing up!! So, to make things easier and so I don’t miss out on the kids opening and playing with presents I sometimes do the Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve or even Boxing Day!! Whatever works for our family. Sometimes it can be so overwhelming so I need to do whatever helps for our family.

Hope it helps!

Georgina x

24 Hour challenge. Build that bridge.

Over the weekend, Charlie wanted to do a 24 hour challenge. This child is obsessed with gaming and YouTube and ALL his favourite YouTubers do these 24 hour challenges. So, if you don’t know about them (count yourself lucky) but basically its when someone on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok or any other social media platform spends 24 hours doing one activity, like gaming, sleeping in a shopping centre, inside a cinema, in a den that sort of thing. As Charlie is a gamer, naturally he wanted to do gaming.

If you had said to me a year ago, or 2 years ago I would of flipped. That conversation would be cut dead and I would not of even entertain the idea. Charlie is too young, out of routine affects him massively. He isn’t mature enough to deal with the tiredness or the aggression that comes from being awake for long periods of time.

But, we hardly sleep anymore, it’s not unusual for Charlie not to settle until 11pm and quite often he’s up regularly throughout the night. So actually having a lack of sleep isn’t a major problem. And ALL the YouTubers are doing it and he just wants to be part of that world. He quite often feels disengaged from the world and society between autism, no schooling, no social group, no peers and sensory issues so why not?

I first heard the term “Build a bridge” a few months ago, and even though we have been on this journey for several years I had never heard the term before. It’s meaning is to build a bridge into your child’s world and connect with your child, build a positive interaction with them and hopefully your child with join you on that bridge and walk back with you. I’m not an expert, and we’ve never tried it before, I will be honest as I always am I find it hard to connect with Charlie for various reasons and none that are because of him but because situations and environments don’t allow us to.

So this weekend that is what I did! I built that bridge and went over to his world. We stayed up until 3.30am a staggering 21 and a half hours and we had lots of fun. I actually enjoyed it, even though I hate gaming and find his videos boring. And he really benefited from it. Today he has been positively lovely, telling all his online friends about his 24 hour challenge, in fact telling anyone that will listen and has gone to bed tonight on time, no fuss (probably exhausted) and straight to sleep!!! Within minutes, by 10pm an absolute miracle.

So I can actually say I think it worked! Giving Charlie this time, and allowing to do something he only dreamed of made it a reality, I built that bridge, walked over it and held Charlie’s hand on the way back over. Watching him sleep tonight - I always do, helps me refocus back on him when we’ve had a terrible day I felt such a strong connection. I couldn’t leave! Which is why I am writing this so late.

If you see the chance to build a bridge, walk over it!

Georgina x

Below is a link to another blog post on building a bridge.

https://www.nymetroparents.com/article/building-a-connection-with-your-child-with-autism

Thou shalt not have.

Back in October, with the new finalised version of the EHCP we were awarded 50 hours of respite…. a year!! Shocking I know, such a small amount for the level of needs Charlie has. Anyway, I had asked continuously since 2018 for respite and a social care assessment, it was extremely difficult to get one. Despite everyone that knew our family, knew I was a single mother, and dad was not active at the time, didn’t support any of the journey - he had been supportive, he had turned up for meetings, he had listened to advice and tried to work around schedules and he had engaged in some way with professionals. However, by 2018 he had stopped.

I have no parents, so the children don’t get that grandparent engagement, and my only sibling lives 70 miles away and we only see her in the school holidays. So the LA were fully aware of the difficulties I had with managing Charlie, not to mention I was responsible for 2 other children also. I would say that it qualified us for respite but it was always a no, I tried to self refer, no one got back to me. Being a parent carer to an under 18 year old is actually harder to get respite than if you were a parent carer of an adult child.

So I made sure when I took the EHCP to appeal in April that I went to National Trial, which was a pilot project that looked into the health and social care needs of the child. An EHCP stands for Education, Health Care Plan but funnily enough only the education part of the plan is enforceable by law. By going to appeal on the national trial meant that I could have the assessment as a carer under the EHCP. We were awarded 50 hours, however, that has not transpired, we are now 2 months in and I have not yet received a single hour.

Short breaks had contacted me to advise that there was an extremely long waiting list for referral and it might of been better for us to receive the funded hours from a different provider. I contacted a local ASD charity that has previously worked with us as a family and unfortunately they too are not taking on any referrals because of higher than normal waiting lists and I imagine a reduced capacity to see clients because of covid.

So the LA have given this wonderful funding albeit it’s a pitiful amount and has then not given the services the resources and funds to effectively carry it out - hence, thou shalt not have. Their suggestion is to get a personal assistant and then receive money through direct payments to fund this, “maybe I can use a family member” I honestly don’t know if they ever read notes! That would be impossible given the fact we don’t have a family member we could use, hence the fact I need respite! There is a few issues with this, obviously the main one would be introducing Charlie to someone new, he is autistic and has separation anxiety, he doesn’t do new people well. Who wants to work for 50 hours a year? And then there is the admin side of things, I would be responsible for that person’s tax, NI contributions and providing the LA with receipts and proof of this respite, that sounds like more than 50 hours of life admin to me.

However, when having a catch up with my family liaison officer today she has suggested that if I don’t have anyone in mind, then there is a TA that already supports children from the school in the holidays. This sounds perfect! This way Charlie will know, and have been introduced through the school to the TA, and the TA will be available and be thoroughly trained! To the standard that I need for them to be in order to take care of Charlie effectively. Great news, however, I’m still a bit miffed that it will be me doing all the work so this will need to be rectified.

Another bonus, is that after a few meetings Charlie is top of their priority list to get back into education so there is an new plan. This plan is to move him classrooms, less children and more 1:1 opportunities. So we will definitely give that a go. Charlie isn’t keen on changing classrooms but as I’ve said, he’s not attending! So it is unfair to keep his place in a classroom where he is not going and then another child can make use of that school place, and more children need inclusive education.

I will keep you posted.

Georgina x

We have visited the stables.

If you have seen my social media posts you will know that today we visited Barleyfields stables as part of equine therapy for Charlie. There is other news, as Charlie’s family liaison officer came to the stables with his occupational therapist, however, because I want to keep Charlie’s equine therapy in a category and record progress, it is best that I write about that in another post.

Today, was pretty low key. It always is for the first visit, which is just an introductory visit to meet the horses and look round the stables. Charlie did amazing though! Was there for an hour! As I said, the family liaison officer came, the occupational therapist came and we met his riding instructor. I imagined Charlie being so overwhelmed but he wasn’t he was in his element and off he went! Because the stables are so big, it took us ages to walk around them.

After the initial meeting of the horses, Charlie got to walk a tiny Shetland pony up the road and back again, he loved the activity as he was able to lead the pony with her reins. And then it was time to meet his own pony. He now has a pony called Logic, a boy one, a chestnut pony. His responsibilities will include brushing his mane, cleaning his shoes and walking him. Once, he is more confident, he will learn to ride him. What struck me the most was how much Charlie was willing to get stuck in and get the work done! So much passion, I’m really looking forward to watching this relationship grow.

At first the occupational therapist will attend regularly, but eventually she will fade out and it will just be Charlie and the riding instructor. What is brilliant, is the fact that the riding instructor is also a TA at Charlie’s school so understands the stresses and anxieties that children like Charlie have and she will also be a familiar adult at school = bonus.

And, I will be sent to the car. Bliss!! It’s not that I don’t like horses, or want to see Charlie develop, but that 1 hour in the car will be so blissful, it will actually be the only hour I get off a week. I can’t wait, it will not only help with Charlie’s sensory needs but with his separation anxiety levels I can’t wait. This really is a win-win situation.

Georgina x

10 money saving ideas.

SUMMARY

• Check your current benefit entitlement - Are you getting the right amount

• What hidden benefits does your bank account have - get one that benefits you

• Discount codes - Sign up for them, you’re buying that item anyway!

• Utilities - Do a comparison, go cheap! save ££££

• Record your spending habits - cancel your subscriptions

• Meal plan - reduce waste, save money

• Pay upfront - save more

• Free tickets - always check websites and research where you are heading for good deal

• Be frugal

As a single mama and a SEN mama, keeping as much money in my household is so important to me. We don’t know what the future holds, it’s very unpredictable. And as a SEN mother, the cost of raising a child with disabilities is higher than a child without. Scope did a research study and it had some alarming results, the average extra costs are £581 a month with 1 in 5 families facing £1000 price differences. You can read the article here:

Life costs more for disabled children and their families | Disability charity Scope UK

So I’ve come up with a few ways to lighten the load.

1) Benefits check - make sure you are receiving the right amount of benefits. This isn’t just for Disability Living Allowance (DLA) or Personal Independence Payment (PIP) if you are caring for anyone over 16. Disability premiums are paid in tax credit awards, universal credit, housing benefit and for some people on council tax support. Check with your local housing and benefits agency to see if you qualify. There are different premiums, for different awards.

• Disability Living Allowance (DLA) for children - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

• Personal Independence Payment (PIP) - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

• Disability premiums - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

• Housing benefit | Disability Rights UK

• Council Tax: Discounts for disabled people - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

2) Carer’s Allowance - If you, or someone else cares for someone for 35 hours or more a week, receives the middle or higher care component of DLA and earn less that £128 a week then you may be eligible for carer’s allowance. Carer’s allowance is a taxable income, but it also counts towards your National Insurance contributions, which is incredibly important for any pension income you may be eligible in later life. Carer's Allowance - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

3) Make your bank work for you - What bank are you with? Have you checked their benefits and rewards system? I get so many rewards with mine. I get a cashback for all my direct debits I’ve made £94 since April, and although it might not seem a lot when there is hundreds going out every month in direct debits, but it did buy some Christmas presents this year! I also have a range of other benefits which include phone insurance (handy if you’re rubbish with phones and have 2 teenagers). Travel insurance for me and the children, discounted travel benefits and good rates on travel money, UK car breakdown cover, a tastecard giving benefits for 2 for 1 dining or 50% off your bill on selected restaurants and cinema discounts. Martin Lewis from Money Saving Expert always has some great tips

Bank Accounts - MoneySavingExpert

4) Use online discounts - This should be a no brainer, however, how many times have you bought something online without checking for a discount? Download apps that do it for you. I use Honey which searches for codes and Quidco that gives you cashback and discounts on their partner brands. Don’t be afraid of a discount code, I can’t remember the last time I bought something full price. The discount codes doesn’t have to be online, if you can get them instore or through other advertisements then do it.

5) Utilities - Are they working for you? Are you on the lowest tariff? Have you done a comparison check? If the answer is no to any of them, then change. Why are you still paying for services that aren’t working for you and your family. Utility services aren’t loyal so you don’t have to be either. Turn your thermostat down, I turned ours down from 30degrees to 20 degrees, it’s now almost December and I’ve not had to switch up the thermostat yet, it works and it will cost me less in the future. Do you know all the benefits you can receive from your utility service? A few are listed below:

• Big Difference Scheme | Help with paying your bill | Help when you need it | My Account | Severn Trent Water (stwater.co.uk)

• Online Application - Severn Trent Trust Fund : Severn Trent Trust Fund (sttf.org.uk)

• Warm Home Discount Scheme - GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

• Energy (moneysupermarket.com)

6) Understand your spending habits - check your bank statements, where is your money going? Have “no spend days”, days when you do not and can not spend money. Give yourself a challenge, choose a few days a month and stick to them. Become familiar with your spending, are there subscriptions you can save on? Have you signed up on a free 7 day trial and then forgotten about it? Set a reminder. If you want to cancel the free trial, don’t wait until day 7 cancel the trial straight away or the day after when it is fresh in your mind you will still get the 7 days but you won’t be charged if you forget. Do you have too many takeaways or meals out, find the deals. Find days where restaurants have special deals and use those as your meals out instead. Do you spend on your card? Set yourself a spending limit, take physical cash out and be mindful on how much you are spending.

7) Meal plans - The number one way to save money and reduce waste is to make a meal plan and stick to it. Not only is it great for your purse, but for your health too. Make a daily meal plan, write a list of the ingredients that you need for each meal and only buy those ingredients. Work out what you would have for snacks, and measure out your snacks, don’t impulse buy treats. Meal planning will also save food waste, that in turn helps the environment. Check what you have in your cupboards already. I used to go shopping and buy the same things every week, but then I would end up with 5 packs of 1kg pasta what a waste! See if you can already make a meal with the food you already have and then shop for your meals. If, like us you enjoy a takeaway count it into the weekly budget. You don’t have to feel guilty, we have dominoes on a Tuesday because they have a deal. Sometimes we’ll have a chippy tea on a Friday, that is Friday’s meal plan it’s counted in the budget. Choose when you go shopping, don’t just go on a Monday because it’s habit, go when you need to. And once you’ve been try not to go again, if you go on Monday, there might not be a reason other than habit to go on Friday. If it’s not important and you can manage, stick it out. If you are going on a Sunday to set yourself up for the week, make sure you count Sunday in your meal plans for the week, then you will always have extra.

8) Pay up front - When renewing any policy, whether it is an insurance policy or a subscription consider paying the fees up front, there is often a discount for paying the yearly figure. My home contents insurance last year was £72 if paid annually or £89 if paid monthly over the year! So with the prospect of saving £17 I choose to pay upfront. And I really do benefit from that extra £5 a month that I don’t have going out as a direct debit every month. Now, go back to step 5 do a comparison check, use a comparison website and check out the prices of annually and monthly costs you will find that the annual costs are lower. If you can, pay the annual cost and enjoy the financial freedom of less outgoings monthly. You will win overall.

9) Free carers tickets - Always check the websites for concession rates and free carer tickets wherever you go. In most cases you will need evidence of this, such as your benefit letter. But it is worth it, we have saved a fortune in trips out by using the discounted prices. But the best way to enjoy a free day out is to go on local trails, take a flask of hot drinks and a packed lunch and look online at some local nature trails or country parks. It’s free and other than parking charges you will be able to have a day out and better still exercise! If you’re paying for a gym membership and not using it, get rid! Not only are there free nature trails but you can pick some with hills and get that work out in.

10) Live frugally - Buy from charity shops, if the kids want new games to play with why not check out the local charity shop for any toys, games, books and dvds. I needed a small suitcase that would class as hand luggage on flights, I got one from a charity shop for £3. Fix your clothes, rather than throwing them out see if there’s any way you can mend them, even by changing jeans into shorts. If you are purchasing items online, pop it in your basket and don’t check out, if in a couple of days you still want it then buy the item if not delete the basket. Check Facebook or gumtree or freecycle for the item that you need first, maybe there’s a cheaper or better still free one online. Use the discount codes. And follow the previous 9 steps.

I hope this helps!

Georgina x

Self-care Sunday

If someone had said to me back in 2017, take some time for yourself, self care is important, you are important, I would of laughed in their face. There was no way 3 years ago I would be in a position to even have 5 minutes alone (as I write this, Charlie is about 3 metres away playing on the PlayStation). We’ve had some pretty tough years, but 2017 was particular difficult, Charlie was 3 months into a new mainstream school placement and either school refusing or being excluded on a daily basis. This was after he had been restrained, or removed from classrooms. What I didn’t know back then, other than the fact Charlie was more sensitive and harder to parent than my other 2 was that he actually had special educational needs and actually mainstream school would never be the correct place to educate him.

So 2017, after he was permanently excluded from Reception at the age of 5 and sent to a pupil referral unit, sent me into a deep depressive state. In these dark times, Charlie wouldn’t leave my side, he was so traumatised from school and the pupil referral unit could only admit him for 1 hour a day. I had to do everything I needed to in that one hour, and then he would come back in an even worse state. We lived off takeaways as I couldn’t even leave him to go and cook, the food shop was delivered online and god help any emergency because the thought of me leaving him caused a huge meltdown.

I signed off work sick, back then I was working part time for the NHS in a job I deeply enjoyed and had 8 years service, a work schedule that was easily managed for the children, plenty of time to balance work and life and a monthly pay cheque which was generous for part time hours. Not to mention £40 being deposited into a pension scheme that would look after me in later life. Charlie’s SEN came as a huge shock and something none of us were prepared for, unfortunately while I was off sick I developed appendicitis and had to have my appendix removed. A complicated surgery for me, as I had 3 previous emergency caesarean sections so it was more complex. Two days after being admitted to hospital and 1 day after surgery I discharged myself, there was no one to look after Charlie and I would struggle to rest if I was in hospital, I needed to be at home and begged for it. I also needed intravenous antibiotics but like the blood transfusion I should of had after Charlie was born I ignored it and went home anyway.

There’s no one to take care of my family, my home, my bills, my life admin or Charlie’s needs but me. I’m more than just a single mum flying solo with fleeting appearances of a father that just watches Charlie while I work (so I can continue to work) I am on my own, there’s no parents to pick up, and give me a break, no grandparents, and my only sibling lives 70 miles away in a different county. I’m all alone. Which is why I can never allow 2017 to happen again! I can’t work myself into the ground balancing all the balls, and risk dropping one, last time I dropped me, next time who knows what it might be.

So now I love self care. I practice it, I enjoy it. The hot tub this weekend was my treat to myself. Obviously the children have loved every second of it and it benefitted Charlie! But also, feeling weightless, calm and relaxed in that space meant that I have been able to take care of myself and actually feel so much better for it. Plus the benefits it gives Charlie means we’ve had a lovely weekend all around.

As we head into December next week, this is the toughest time of year for our little ones, and I will need all the self care I can get. Will be writing a post on surviving Christmas soon.

Georgina x

It's hot tub weekend

This weekend we have hired a hot tub. Charlie loves the hot tub and the bubbles, he loves being in water full stop however, hates the thought of a bath. Which is strange. Dislikes getting in the bath but once he is in there, absolutely loves it! And will happily stay in for a few hours if I let him. In water, Charlie loves being under the water so I have to make a conscious effort to always remember goggles or there is trouble brewing. Goggles always make our trips so much better when we go swimming. And of course in the bath.

The hot tub is massive, fits 8-10 people, so even with just the 3 of us in it there is so much room!! It really does feel like a private swimming pool, Charlie can even do a few strokes across it. The benefits of hydrotherapy on a child with sensory issues are amazing which is why a hot tub does well in our household. I have included a link below.

Benefits of hydrotherapy for children with complex needs – Which School? for Special Needs (specialneedsguide.co.uk)

Unfortunately I don’t have the funds to run a hot tub all year round, along with the garden space and water and maintenance it would take for the upkeep. It is a shame, and hopefully one day we will be in a position to make this a reality because I know Charlie would massively benefit from it.

I booked this hot tub in June and then saved towards it until we received it, I knew it was coming and booked so I made sure we had the funds available. It comes with many extras, like disco lights which are very sensory friendly, and a bluetooth speaker so we can listen to our favourite songs. The guys are always on hand to help support, I even got a text message last night reminding me to put the cover on because it was freezing last night!!

Family fund also offer money towards hot tubs as part of their offer, this goes to show the benefits of having a hot tub. I have posted a link below.

Download.ashx (familyfund.org.uk)

We have the hot tub until Monday, but will probably drain it Sunday night. I can’t imagine we will use it on the Monday!!

Off to have some hot tub fun

Georgina x

Horse riding and OT.

So some great positive news for school, finally. We are now 3 weeks since Charlie last attended and we really need to do something to get him interested in school again. His Occupational Therapist rang earlier in the week to offer some horse riding therapy. There has been proven links between equine therapy and autism and the benefits that it gives. Below is a link to highlight some of the benefits:

8 benefits of equine therapy - Seriously Equestrian

I am really excited to see this happening. It is definitely a step forward for us and I want this placement to be successful for Charlie too. It will start with only half an hour to begin with, and the aim is to build on that. His OT will be there so that is how we will manage to get in his occupational therapy sessions and then hopefully we will find a way to get his speech and language therapy in too so with nothing else hopefully the therapies will be implemented into his days.

Another positive is the plan to get a buddy system for Charlie to help smooth the transition between me and school. Charlie struggles so much with separation anxiety and leaving me at any point causes him extreme distress and as you know, if a child is already in distress and traumatised then they are not ready to learn. A child is already starting from a negative place and that will not encourage any academic progress. The first session is due Tuesday! So I will let you know how it goes.

I have some more articles to write, one as an Instagram blog for a page that is encourages empowering autistic individuals and one for a podcast about surviving a lockdown Christmas for a child with special needs. My to-do list never gets smaller, life admin always prevails.

Georgina x

The calendar was short lived.

Unfortunately I have had to pull the plug on the community calendar. It was with a heavy heart I did this, but I started too late in the year and although I had managed to sign up an incredible 10 charities and organisations out of 12 it was still going to be too close to call for a 2021 calendar. I’ve been given some great advice on how to take it forward in 2021 to build a 2022 calendar so fingers crossed that will be more successful.

I want to put my name to something I am proud of, that has taken time and a collaborative effort. However, it all felt very rushed and it wasn’t making me feel good about a positive project for the community and raise money to go back into the very charities that have supported Charlie and myself for the past few years.

Hopefully the printer is still on board, as it was exceptionally kind of them to offer to do the art work for free, and I did a lot of shopping around and research into printing costs and they came up with the best value and quantity for money so I am hoping that the offer is still there for next year.

I have been overwhelmed with people’s generosity, giving me their advice for free and helping support this venture as I think a lot of people can see the benefits of the community calendar so I’m hoping that the same generous offers will be there once again. Of course it is really disappointing because I had investing so much time and energy into it over the passed 3 weeks, however, it has not gone unnoticed and I have added a lot more content to the website in the local area section on services that are in the local area of Derby and Derbyshire.

I have recently discovered Smile by Amazon, I am kicking myself as I did not previously know about it and I have spent a fair small fortune in Amazon in recent weeks due to Christmas presents. So I could of really made a difference with the donations, oh well I know now. Amazon Smile donates to a charity of your choice when you make purchases on Amazon, at least this way I can still donate and make a difference to local charities that have supported us by supporting them. I have added a link below.

smile.amazon.co.uk: You shop. Amazon gives.

So fingers crossed 2022 will be better and more successful, in the meantime I won’t give up my day job, finding car insurance renewals and cleaning out the fish tank!

Georgina x

The Community Calendar fundraising is live.

Good morning, I barely feel as though I’ve stopped! What started as an idea just 9 days ago has spiralled into something I’ve become so passionate about and really want to make this project a reality. The community calendar was an idea to pool lots of different information on local charities in one place. Charities specifically for the SEN and disabled community. A way of highlighting what there is in our community and how to receive the information, advice and support that a parent, carer, brother, sister or other needs. Some of the charities aren’t age specific so those of all ages are supported. Unfortunately the printing costs are pretty steep so I need to raise the funds for this.

I can’t tell you how busy it’s been filling out numerous application forms for funding, checking social media, filtering out people sending random messages on social media that is totally irrelevant to the cause (proposals for marriage and sending money abroad). Keeping up with the progress and emailing of the calendar and then having 3 children at home to run around after. It’s extremely exhausting but it’s definitely given me a new lease of life, a real project that I can throw myself and my talents into.

For now though, I really want to get the calendar off the crowd so I have set up a crowdfunder. The link is below:

https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/community-calendar-for-sen-services

Please let me know if the link doesn’t work! And please if you can, donate and share. Myself, and the other charities and organisations in this project would really appreciate it.

Thanks all

Georgina x

Projects!

I don’t think I’ve been this excited in a long time! I had a nice long think about how I could help the SEN community in my area and what I could do from home and I came up with a plan. I’m so pleased. Having Charlie and the level of time he is at home, I’ve come to grips with the fact that he needs me at home and I can’t be physically present in a workplace, it is impossible. This may change, I hope it does but I have accepted it for now. So the project, it has meant getting in touch with local charities and SEN services to collaborate on the project together and fingers crossed it will all become clear on the 1st of December. That is the date I have given myself! Not sure if it’s over reaching or not yet!

To do this, has meant I have changed this website into a business one and created a business email too. It has taken up the majority of my Sunday. I have a meeting tomorrow with a financial advisor to find the best solution to be able to balance the finance side of things and a meeting with a printers. All done at home, which is a blessing. We are now on day 6 of not leaving the house, it’s a total regression and it is upsetting to feel this. I feel sad that we have regressed so much, just due to change and the feelings of trauma around it.

I have a webinar on controlling behaviour which was released by Yvonne Newbold of Newbold Hope and I’m looking forward to working with her in the future, Charlie struggles with controlling and challenging behaviour so hopefully I can get some worthwhile tips! Unfortunately, you are not able to buy the webinar after the post date however, it is a popular one and I’m sure it will be released again. I will pop a link to the site below.

https://yvonnenewbold.com/webinars-workshops-courses-and-books/

Next I will be registering Advocating For Charlie as a business, I don’t want to be a charity or a community interest as I believe the area that we are in has enough, and I don’t want to take away from already vital charities and services that already do amazing work and support so many families already. I have however, made a business plan of how much it will cost to run this website for a year and fingers crossed can generate the money to pay for this website so it will pay for itself and therefore it can continue to be a free resource for anyone that needs.

So lots going on and lots that keeps this mind of mine busy. All stuff I can do in the same room as Charlie as separation anxiety in controlling our lives right now. I really do need a break!

I’m also very excited for the future.

Georgina x