This blog post was written on 5/2/2020

Tonight we are trialling the Red Light! One of the first early indicators that there was something different about Charlie was the sleep. He was exclusively breastfed, (the only one of three that did) which ultimately meant that he was attached to me day and night quite literally. He was weaned at 6.5 months, no magic advise I’m afraid, just a tired momma that went on a night out and the next day knew I couldn’t feed! And he literally just weaned. Anyway, he slept in bed with me until he was around 4.5 years old, trying to settle him on his own was a nightmare, and if I’m honest there was no real need for him to sleep in his own bed. (This was partly due to space as well, we had a tough living arrangement for a while when the children’s father left).

Anyway, school was soon approaching, so I began the necessary moves to ensure independent sleeping. This was HORRIFIC!! No matter how hard I tried, Charlie would not settle on his own, he was up and down, and there was numerous excuses, he needed to touch me at every opportunity, He needed the physical touch, he was exhausting. Bedtime would start at 8pm and would not finish until perhaps 11pm or midnight, it was hours of the “settling” period. And if I thought once he was asleep, I could go to sleep, I was wrong! He then woke, continuously throughout the night, desperately needing to touch/be near me.

I was working for the NHS at the time, doing a role which meant working from 8am until 6pm throughout the week, it was extremely exhausting trying to manage that and get the kids up and out the house, with having little or no sleep, and whatever sleep there was it was broken and not of any good quality.

We battled on, trying various different strategies, bedtime routines and implementing therapies to get him to settle. None have been groundbreaking unfortunately. Although, ones that have stuck have been making sure the toilet has been used, a drink of milk before bed, limit of electronics by having a family card game before bed. This is either Uno or Top Trumps which work for us. Bedtime is always 8pm.

Once he was diagnosed, we were prescribed melatonin, however, Charlie being Charlie was the 1 out of 100 that developed frightening side effects, this being nightmares and hallucinations so we were unable to continue on the prescription as I would much rather suffer than Charlie experience that. And, I gave up my career to become his full time carer anyway.

In December 2019 I was fortunate enough to go on a Positive Sleep Habits course with the Clinical Psychologist from the Children’s Hospital at Royal Derby Hospital. DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, always seek professional advice when changing your child’s care plan. I was lucky enough to go as a plus one, with Miss S (if you have read previous blogs, Miss S is one of the guardian angels). There were a few hints and tips that they gave us that I will share with you now.

Use a weighted blanket - this is only effective for the first 20 minutes.
Switch to a red light in the bedroom.
Limit screen time, 2 hours before bed.
If there is a blue light filter on the electronics, switch it on.
Talk to your child about their day - give them chance to tell you of any struggles/worries they have
Use relaxation and yoga
Eat a tryptophan rich diet - These are foods that contain melatonin so the body is getting it in the day.
Tart Cherry Juice 200mls, available from Holland and Barrett.

We have yet to try the foods and cherry juice, and unfortunately for us limiting screen time is never easy. However, we have the weighted blanket, regularly talk about our days, always chat about any concerns and definitely do the yoga!

These strategies may not work for everyone. It is important to seek professional advice if you have any concerns, There are lots of books and resources available also. Changing old habits and introducing new ones is always tough, so please don’t give up even if you give in.

Georgina x