I was never sure how a transition from a school holiday and back into school was going to go. And Charlie has done amazing. He has absolutely smashed it. I am so proud of my little man, he has done 4.5 days this week. Monday was tricky but other than that Charlie was in from 9.30am -3.30pm and that is the first time he has managed full days at school for 3 years! Never mind full weeks! What an improvement.

Me, on the other hand I have been in a dreadful phunk. I feel as though I sit by the phone all day, not wanting to do anything just incase I get a call. It’s made me have a real think about what comes next, how do we move forward. I longed for this day so much, and now it’s here I’m struggling to process it. Charlie is fine, technically he’s been transitioning since September last year so he’s had 5 months (which is exceptional, and really a testament to his challenges and trauma) to trust the school, and iron out the teething problems but now he has, and he is settled. I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. I’ve gone spending all day every day with this tiny human for the best part of 2 years and then previously Charlie only attended school between 1-3hours a day so he was with me the remainder of the time. How do I transition? Maybe I should of prepared myself for that.

I did think about going back to working more hours, I did go on a couple of job interviews and applied for countless others. But what about holidays? I have no support, previously to Charlie’s diagnosis and school journey, and before I gave up work, he was with a childminder for several years. But Charlie is now 1:1 and he definitely needs 1:1 supervision, so what then? I couldn’t pay for wraparound childcare and holidays it would cripple me. I can’t rely on my older children, they deserve their holidays off to see their own friends and have their own social calendars. And I definitely can’t depend on Charlie’s other parent to take on the school holidays. Not even a week, and they have 13 weeks off! So, would it really benefit Charlie for me to work more hours.

The paperwork and life admin has absolutely overwhelmed me recently too. I have finally got my head around the short breaks and PA paperwork. That is going well, Charlie now has a TA from his school that comes on a Sunday to sit with him for an hour. This is a relationship that we will build on and eventually his PA will take him out on activities in the holidays. Which will both give me a break, and allow me to have some time with my older children guilt free, and be able to put their needs first.

I’ve almost finished the annual review paperwork for the EHCP. There was more than I’ve ever had, a lot of risk assessments, behaviour plans, reports from the occupational therapist and the speech and language therapists. A lot of it was difficult to read, and a lot was very positive. On the whole there was more positives than negatives so that was good to read. But still, going forward I want to make sure everything is up to date.

Finally, the dreaded DLA form. This is the 3rd one we have had in 4 years and I’m really hoping we get a longer award than 2 years. As having to go through this process has been really draining previously. Looking forward to getting it all done in the coming weeks and then feeling positive that we have made massive leaps from the challenges we have had to almost coming out the other side until we are faced with new challenges. I have also started thinking about bringing forward a complaint against the LA for the last 3 years and the lack of support and help that we have had and the difficult journey we have been on. What I have learnt is there was always a school for Charlie we just had to jump through so many impossible hoops to get here. And that shouldn’t be the case. I definitely need to do this, I just have to find the mental headspace to do it.

I think that’s enough for today.

Georgina x