First of all, I have to stress that the problem isn't with Charlie's dad, but is around environmental factors. That's the best way to describe it.

Charlie has not been staying with his dad as regularly as first hoped. We changed the routine last autumn to give Charlie more time with his dad every other week. It sounded like the perfect schedule and I was really hoping that it would stick. Unfortunately, it hasn't. I'm not too sure when it changed, possibly the beginning of this summer around June.

Charlie's dad lives a minimum of 45 mins drive away, this is obviously more in times of heightened traffic. Charlie struggles with the drive, he likes to go a certain route (which can cause difficulties when there's been an accident on the M1 or A38, very popular well used roads in our area) and struggles when there are roadworks happening that I haven't prepared him for. I'm fortunate that his learning support worker often makes that journey with him to/from my house. Unfortunately his dad is unable to drive due to a medical condition, and because of that, all the travel is on me.

I have no doubt, that if Charlie's dad lived 5 mins away (which he has done in the past) then access to his dad's house would be so much better, and this schedule would be more successful. Unfortunately, if Charlie doesn't want to go/wants to come home we just don't have the means to support that as effectively as if dad lived a few streets away.

Way back when, when we first split up in 2011 (7 weeks after Charlie was born) I was unable to stay in the house we had. I simply couldn't afford it as a single parent or 3 children aged 9 and under and on maternity leave. I moved house a couple of streets away, and then Charlie's dad found a flat on the very next street opposite a park we had behind our house. We couldn't have stayed there, ours was a 2 bedroom house that I had to downside to, and dad's was a 1 bedroom flat. So it was never sustainable, but location wise it was so perfect! The kids could have walked to their dad's in 3 minutes and having a park so close by gave us as a family lots of enjoyment. If only life was that simple again.

The transition between both houses is also always difficult, Charlie has to regulate himself back into my routines once he's been at his dad's. And the pattern was 11 nights with me, 3 nights with him. For now we've opted for once a month. So that effectively means 25 nights with me, 3 nights with dad. And yes, that's incredibly hard on me, but ultimately easier on Charlie so that's what we'll do.

He is always at the forefront of all my decisions.

Georgina x