Maternal Mental Health
The last 2 weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster. I started to struggle some time ago, probably around a month. I removed myself away from the socials and hoped I could focus on getting better. I thought that it must be carer’s burnout because Charlie’s needs had been so full on lately. And that once we were over this EHCP and DLA stage that I would start to feel better.
But it wasn’t. We achieved the DLA renewal and Charlie got the same rate of care and added mobility. We also got more provision added to the EHCP and more assessments and support, so it was a victory. All that stress and worry. But it wasn’t that either. Then I realised it had nothing to do with Charlie and being his full time carer. It had everything to do with the pressures I feel as a mother.
Evidence shows that mothers that suffer from poor maternal mental health are at greater risk of impacting their children. The link below shows how it can impact, and what factors contribute to maternal mental health.
It’s easy to see why I have started to struggle, the pressure of raising a family alone. The poverty that comes from a single parent household and from being excluded from the workplace due to having a child with disabilities. I’m not ashamed to admit I have struggled at the thought of being Charlie’s full time carer, and giving up my career. I’ve slowly come to terms with the fact I will never do the job I love, or go into a career that I worked so hard to get qualified for. But the best way to overcome this was in fact to not only accept it but to accept help. Last week I rang the doctors and I was put on a new anti depressant and referred for talking therapies.
Talking therapies will give me the time and space to process these thoughts and feelings so I can accept them more easily. And the anti depressants will help lift my mood until then. I have posted a link on talking therapies below.
NHS talking therapies - NHS (www.nhs.uk)
And finally, I became me again. The issue with maternal mental health it’s all based around your role as “mum/mummy” and you can get lost. The “you” can become lost and that is exactly what has happened. All my energy, time and effort has gone into the children for longer than I can remember, and little pieces of me had begun to drop off and they were never replaced and I never picked them back up again. And in the end I was just “mum”.
So this week I have taken some huge steps to feel more of a person. I went to a hair salon for the first time in 5 years and got my hair done and I also had my eyebrows tinted and waxed and fake lashes put on. And it really has made me feel so much better about myself. It may be another 5 years until I go back to the hair salon and I may never have my eyelashes done again. So for now I will enjoy it and feel a bit more positive, ready to take on new battles and face a different future to what I ever imagined.
Georgina x