Sometimes, as parents and carers we get things wrong. I started this page advocating for Charlie on social media through Facebook first. Facebook has a small number of followers, and my engagement on there is quite low I think. Some time ago, well over a year, I started an Instagram account. The following grew pretty quick, and with it access to accounts that I would not of known if I had stayed on Facebook only.

There was a large portion of SEN and disability accounts. And one in particular I followed religiously. She had a complex medical child, was a single parent, slightly younger than myself and local. I thought we would have a bit in common so I started following her journey with her child. The journey was difficult and she was up against so many barriers, it was devastating to see but I could relate as that was exactly what was happening with us. And as she was local to me, I could relate all the more.

I’m not sure when the switch happened that she stopped being so much the SEN advocate but turned into a bit of a mumfluencer? I think that is what they are called? Her page turned into advert on top of advert, and for a while I was mesmerised. Here, was this struggling single mother, no help from the father, no help from the family (exactly like myself) battling on with her child and using Instagram to her advantage. And the ads and work just came rolling in! I thought great! I could do that. I could turn this into a money making venture, earn money through ads, open a shop, develop a brand. I really got washed away with it all. It is important to note, it wasn’t only this person - there were several. Several, Instagrammers that were gaining followers and income from their accounts. And I was, ashamed to say it now, in awe! I felt as this would be the answer to our prayers. It would enable me to earn an income while being home with Charlie. Dream come true right?

However, I was pointed in the direction of a gossip site should I say? Not really sure how to word it. It was a place on the internet where people could express their opinions and views on said influencers, Instagrammers etc.. There are literally hundreds of people doing this. Perhaps even thousands. These comments were not about the majority they are about the small minority of people that take this lifestyle and use it at their child’s expense or use it incorrectly. And that is what the website looks at primarily.

So, upon stumbling onto said gossip site, I found the local SEN mum had a thread written on her. Actually, it wasn’t just one.. it was several. And as I read through them I was totally shocked. This image of her that she had portrayed on Instagram was false. Not only did she have her family supporting her, but she had the child’s father co-parenting with her. And her son was in full time school. As well as several other agencies supporting them as a family too. Her life did not mirror mine, we were not similar. Our struggles were not the same. The other information that I uncovered was the way the child was exploited due to ads and as a way of gaining income and I had never thought of that. I had never dreamed of sharing Charlie in these ads, but perhaps that was the process to get them? There was no safeguarding measures. There was no consent from the child (non verbal) and now when I think of it, I am shocked that I even entertained the idea.

I have now unfollowed said SEN mum. And I feel all the better for it. Using funds given to your child inappropriately is not ok. Using your child to exploit in order to gain followers and income from ads is not ok. Lying about your lifestyle and family situation to trick your followers is not ok. And I am sad that I got it so wrong and put this lady on a pedestal when all she was was after her own gain. This is the dark site of social media, the dark side of influencing, the dark side of Instagram. I am sorry I got it wrong. I will not be following in these footsteps and turning our account into a marketing tool. Ever.

Georgina x