Last Friday I turned 39. I never thought I would spend the whole of my 30s fighting the educational system, struggling to leave the house, feeling the bitterness of depression and having to sacrifice me career, pension, income and career goals. That was not what I had planned or what I saw for my future. It unfortunately creeps into every single crevice of my life and it is painful to see it happening.

After 2 birthdays in complete full lockdown I wanted to enjoy this year, the last of my 30s so booked 2 nights away with my boyfriend to Dublin. It wasn’t without it’s issues of course. I can’t just hop on a plane and go away. Life doesn’t work like that for us. It had to be a well oiled military style operation to go away, making sure Charlie was as secure as possible and with someone who could take care of him - the only other person that can do that is Charlie’s dad. But, Charlie doesn’t stop over at his Dad’s house, so his Dad had to stay at my house. And it is for these many reasons that life just isn’t the same for us as it is for other separated parents. Other separated parents, are able to co parent and share the responsibility physically with their children. But Charlie’s needs means that Charlie is unable to leave the house and staying overnight somewhere is so traumatic for him that it is not possible. It is also one of the reasons why myself and my partner can’t or won’t be living together any time soon. My partner has his own children where he has 50/50 care of and he is a dedicated, devoted father and his children are his first priority. But aside from that, having someone else in our little family of 4 is quite unsettling for Charlie so wouldn’t happen either. We have our own routines, and little ways in this house and moving away from that disrupts Charlie so I wouldn’t do it anyway.

So, for me to enjoy a couple of days in Dublin, meant everything had to be Charlie led and make sure his thoughts and feelings were taken care of, before we made any major decisions. Having his Dad here, has been a welcome change and a new challenge to our co-parenting. To be honest, I don’t know many fathers that would sleep at their ex -wife’s home, on her sofa, to take care of their son while she goes away with her boyfriend for her birthday. And I think that is real testament to how much our co-parenting has developed and grown in order to make sure Charlie’s needs are taken care of and to ensure that all the routines and stability stays so that I could have 2 days off from the world, and Charlie could get some quality time with his dad. And it was so welcomed. It came at just the right time.

My birthday was spectacular, I had a great time, a great experience and it really did give me the chance to put things into perspective and give myself a new focus. Excited for the next battle.

Georgina (now aged 39) x